Carolyn Hax: I get too involved in his disputes with his ex-wife

Adapted from a recent online discussion.


DEAR CAROLYN: My boyfriend is divorced and the relationship with the ex is contentious and bumpy. I struggle when I hear the things he has to go through; I can’t imagine how he feels. I am the type to get super-emotional and overinvolved when I hear about what I see as injustices or unfair or inappropriate behavior.

Is it wrong to ask him to keep that part of his life separate? Or to tell me key things and not the mean text exchanges and issues that come up every day? They have a child together, so I recognize that if I stay with him, this will be part of my life for the next eight to 10 years.

He is great, but this part of his life, his past — I struggle with watching him go through it. How do I handle hearing about his issues with her every day in a supportive way?

Ignorance is Bliss?


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