Fish seeking Chia pet

Dear Nemo,

Every social media feed we scroll through these days is chock-full of couple photos and gag-worthy captions. In between the edgy memes and unrealistic mug cake recipes lie a slew of affectionate posts shared only because renting a billboard to share a kissing photo is economically infeasible. The level of cheese on Instagram alone is enough to put us all in a lactose-induced coma.

The couples that interrupt our steady stream of dog videos on Facebook seem to share a level of commitment that should only be reserved for second slices of pizza. The lovebirds featured in these social media invasions rave about how they’ve found the one true love of their life. They proclaim their undying passion from the figurative online mountaintop with no regard for how nutty their situation really is. They’re so enraptured in romance that the idea of forever is exciting rather than terrifying. They are willing to commit everything between now and forever to this one person that they’ve known for a mere nanosecond in the grand scheme of their lifetime.

It seems unlikely that anyone could meet “the one” this early on in the game. In a world so massive and a population so large, knowing that you’ve met the person you’re meant to share your life with at the ripe old age of 19 is statistically unlikely. But beyond the quantitative anomaly, the idea of a college relationship being so definite is what blows my mind.

Most of us operate solely with the immediate future in mind, and even in that regard, we’re…

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California News
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